Milena Nguyen What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

It has been a while since my last blog post

The truth is: I wanted to write, but I didn't know what to do.

I'm sure you know how it feels.

Your mind goes blank, you know you should get it done, but you can’t move.

Every time you set out to do the thing (change your career, start a passion business, have an honest conversation with your parents, write to your readers...) your internal organs seemed to have left you - they didn't invite you to the party.

Days go by; you tell yourself: "I will do it tomorrow." But tomorrow never came. Whenever you think about this task, you feel guilty.

Before you know it, the task - and the emotional angst surround it - has become a mountain. Standing in front of it like a nervous hiker, you say:

I don't know what to do!

I've often heard this sentence from myself and others. I've also often seen myself, and others let this little sentence stop us from doing what matters.

Weeks, months, or even years have gone by, and we are not any closer to our goals.

But you know what? It doesn't have to be this way.

Through working with my psyche and helping others in my coaching work, I've come to realize that this sentence is often not true.

Deep down, we know..
We just don’t want to trust what we know.

Here's a coaching trick I use all the time when working with my clients. (Feel free to try on yourself!)

Client: I don't know what to do!

Me: Pretend you know! What would you do if you knew what to do?

9 out of 10 times, they know the answer.

"I would send my resignation letter." "I would start with something small, a tiny passion project." "I would just tell them the truth." ...

You are much smarter than you think.

There's only one situation where "I don't know what to do" is true: when you genuinely don't know what to do because it's a know-how that you haven't acquired.

Now, if I ask you to stand on your head while juggling three oranges with your left foot, you won't know what to do.

But even here, you see, there is still one thing that you know: You can learn how to do it if you care enough about it.

Like if becoming an expert headstander-orange-juggler was your deepest calling, for example.

So next time, if you hear yourself saying, "I don't know what to do!," turn it into a question: "What if I knew, what would I do?" and an empowering thought: “I can learn how to do it.”

You can be kind to yourself and be fierce with your quest at the same time.

Back to my story, I had a conversation with myself.

Me: Pretend to know. What would I do if I knew? How would I write to my readers if it were so simple and easy?

(Wiser) Me: Sit down, open your laptop, write what comes out from your heart.

Me: But what if I get stuck?

(Wiser) Me: Then make some tea, take a walk, and get back the same day or the next day. You can be kind to yourself and be fierce with your quest at the same time.

Me: I see. Thank you.

Sometimes you might need to take your questions up a few notches but if you keep listening, you’ll find the answers.

Once you tune in to your soul instead of giving in to the excuses, you will discover a source of wisdom you didn't know you have.

Now I want to hear from you:

What is something you want to do but are letting the "I don't know what do to" or "I don't know how to start" hold you back?

Now ask yourself: "If I knew what to do and how to start, I would...[FILL IN THE BLANK]"

Write your answer below in the comment.

Or better, join the Shine Your Light Sisterhood and share your answer there! You can inspire others with your truth and get their support on the journey.

Remember, you are a beautiful miracle, and you can truly shine your light.

With all my love,