Your permission slip to acknowledge yourself. And shout it from the rooftop.
Listen for the audio version - read by the author herself.
My 36th birthday happened last Saturday. When I was asked how I’d like to celebrate it, the first thing that came up in me was: I want to acknowledge myself.
Immediately, a small voice inside my head said: Who does that? That’s so self-centered.
That voice went on for a few days. And then a softer voice underneath said: You’re allowed to acknowledge yourself. And by doing it out loud, you give others permission to do the same.
So here I am. Writing the self-acknowledgement that made me cringe. Because I know that when we don’t acknowledge ourselves, we wait for others to do it for us. And that is a long, uncertain wait filled with resentment.
This is my 36th birthday letter. Not a “look at me my life is so great” list.
Just me, acknowledging myself honestly, for the messy, imperfect, human year I’ve lived since I turned 35.
May this give you the courage to acknowledge yours too.
1
I acknowledge myself for tending to my body.
I have a chronic health condition. This year I stopped trying to fix it the way everyone else said I should, and started learning to truly meet my body where it is. I discarded the wellness trends and what worked for someone else. I choose what works for this body, in this life. That took patience and humility and a willingness to listen inward. I’m proud of that.
2
I acknowledge myself for being Elisa’s mommy.
She is a wonderful, high-spirited child who I’m so grateful for and who also drives me insane on a daily basis. (Finding stickers in my underwear is part of my daily routines.) I have done my best - as a deeply flawed, learning, often overwhelmed human mother - to show up not just for her physical needs but her emotional ones. And I’ve done the inner work of reparenting my own inner child so I can mother her with more freedom. That’s unglamorous, hard work. I see it. I honor it.
3
I acknowledge myself for showing up for my relationship.
We’ve been in and out of couples therapy for nearly 4 years. Our relationship has not always been easy. I could’ve walked away from the harder work. I chose not to. I chose to understand my own patterns, to examine our dynamics, to ask for what I need, to have difficult conversations. That takes a particular kind of heart-strength that’s not talked about enough.
4
I acknowledge myself for choosing this calling. Every single day.
This path chose me, and I chose it back - every morning, every hard week, every season where I wonder if I have what it takes. It has stretched me in ways I never imagined. It has asked more of me than I knew I had. And deep down, in the place that knows things before the mind catches up, I know this is where I’m meant to be. I keep saying yes to it. That matters.
5
I acknowledge myself for becoming the leader my team and the business need.
Earlier this year I made the decision to step back from daily operations, appoint a general manager and move into a more strategic role. To trust my team to lead themselves and focus on building mastery, my body of work, and thought leadership. That was not a small decision. It required me to let go of control and trust what I had built. I did it. It worked. And I celebrate myself and my team for that.
6
I acknowledge myself for the partnerships I created.
There is a 5-year-old Milena inside me who always felt she was standing in the corner of the playground, never quite good enough to be chosen, never quite belonged. This year I created meaningful, fruitful partnerships with some of the best coaching schools in the region. I did it afraid. And I choose to be proud of that.
7
I acknowledge myself for my silly, useless hobbies.
Dancing, playing mobile games, reading romance manga written for teenagers in bed when Elisa watches Boobaa, swooning over good looking male leads in C-dramas, wandering through thrift stores, collecting handmade earrings.
There are no “good hobbies” for CEOs (I’m thinking about golf now and just the thought gives me wrinkles.) They’re not productive or optimized. But they’re mine, and they matter, and until this day I’m still learning to give them full permission to exist without guilt. I acknowledge the quirky part of me who loves beauty and play and is learning, slowly, to stop apologizing for it.
I chose duck ride as my birthday party highlight. (I was one of those heads in the pics who were screaming my butt off.) Productive? No. Optimized? Absolutely not. Perfect? Yes.
8
I acknowledge myself for my relationship with money.
This year, in the middle of whatever economic crisis everyone keeps warning us about on Youtube, my business grew. I raised the rates of my membership program and my one on one private coaching. We had our biggest launch ever. My one on one is booked out.
I’ve worked hard to build a genuine relationship with money - one where I’m neither chasing it desperately nor treating it as something slightly shameful, but receiving it as what it actually is: a resource that can be used as a force for good. A vehicle for the kind of impact that lasts. I believe that deeply. I’ve lived it. And I’m proud to be a woman who learned to command big happy money without apology.
9
I acknowledge myself for staying kind and brave in a world that makes it very hard.
Economic crisis, environmental crisis, political crisis. It would be so easy to go numb. To scroll past it all and protect myself with apathy. I’ve not done that. I’ve chosen to stay open, to keep believing that my work - every coach I guide, every business I help build - is a direct contribution to making this world more livable. I choose that belief every day.
10
I acknowledge myself for blazing my own trail.
I’m the firstborn daughter of a traditional Vietnamese family. I was supposed to find a good husband, have 2 kids - a girl and a boy, live near my parents, feel content with a safe office job and focus on my family.
Instead I moved abroad. Said no to corporate offers. Built a business at 24. Got divorced. Fell in love again. Had a child outside of marriage. And spend my days doing things that set my heart on fire but I don’t know how to explain to my relatives. I questioned every rule I was handed about what a woman should be, what a mother should look like, what a good life requires.
I’ve been making my path as I walk it for years. And in doing so I hope. - No, I know - I’m clearing the path for the women walking behind me.
I just cut my hair by the way. Probably not the best pic to show off my new haircut. But hey, ocean water isn't the best conditioner for hair but it's good for the heart.
That’s the 10 things I’m acknowledging myself for out loud.
The voice that told me not to write this, I know you have that voice too. We all do. It’s the voice that has been making sure we stay small and grateful and undemanding.
But when we don’t acknowledge ourselves, we hand that job to other people. But most people don’t know about the inner child work, the couples therapy, the chronic condition, the calling you chose again on days it would’ve been easier not to.
You know.
So you get to say it.
With love and a permission slip for you to acknowledge yourself and shout it from the rooftop,
Milena
PS. It’s my birthday, and the only gift I want is to hear from you. Comment below and tell me: what is one thing you want to acknowledge yourself for? It doesn’t have to be big. Just has to be true. I read every single reply and I would love to read yours.
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Hey, fellow purpose-driven human!
I'm Milena. At 24, I turned down corporate offers to do my own thing — and 9 years later, I'm making a multi-six-figure living as a coach, mostly barefoot in my apartment.
I know you want to make a difference. I'm here to help you turn that calling into a financially sustainable coaching business — without the hustle, without the pitfalls. Quit the 9-to-5. Work from sunlit cafes. Serve clients who light you up. Wake up excited.
All of it is possible, with the right support. Let me help you shine.
It was my 36th birthday and I celebrated it by acknowledge myself. When we don’t acknowledge ourselves, we wait for others to do it for us. And that is a long, uncertain wait filled with resentment.