“What the hell is wrong with me?"

I ask myself as I lie on my bed. Another day has ended, and once again, I hit a dead-end.

Last year, I said many times to my team that the next step in our business was to offer digital courses.

We would get the project started. I’d be all pumped up. But at some point, I’d get stuck. Something else took priority. Then I’d tell myself: “Well the time isn’t right…”

A few weeks ago, I said again in our team meeting: “Finally, I feel that the time is right!” (I could practically see them throwing their hands in the air going “Hallelujah!”)

But here I am, back in the same rut.

The work feels like wading through quicksand with your hands tied behind your back. The perfect plan I made is out the window.

Laying in the dark, I can’t stop thinking:

“There must be something wrong with me. Is it discipline? Mindset? Inner wound? Fear of success? Fear of failure?!”

I’ve got to figure it out!

I signed up for a membership program for mom entrepreneurs, hoping they’ll have some super-secret magic potion to fix me.

Every month, the program leaders roll out a theme for all the members to work on.

In the month I joined, the theme was “Getting Support.”

When I saw that I thought: Uhm… Okay… That’s nice. But isn’t that a bit, you know, lite?

I’ve heard this message before: "You need and deserve support." Blah blah blah…

In my head, I get it. But it’s never truly sunk in.

I’m secretly proud of my independence. It makes me feel in control, worthy. “I can handle this myself. Do I need help? No, thanks!”

So I’m unimpressed by the “Getting Support” theme.

The annoying thing is: once there’s a theme, they won’t stop talking about it. There’d be group calls, Q&A, exercises, etc.

Maybe it’s the repetition of that message. But on a normal Tuesday, when I’m scrubbing my skin in the shower, something breaks through.

As the water runs from my head down my body, it dawns on me:

“When I’m struggling, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. It just means that I need help!”

This feels so freeing. If there’s nothing wrong with me, then I don’t need to blame myself anymore! I just need to ask for support.

*“When you’re struggling, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It just means you need help!”*

I post on the membership community that I’m seeking an accountability partner who shares the same goal. One day later, I get a message from Bella.

Last year, Bella helped her husband launch a successful course. Every piece of advice she gives me is golden.

This year, Bella wants to create a course under her own brand. So I offer her the encouragement she needs to start her empire.

For the first time, I’m experiencing the true balance in giving and receiving. And it feels so good!

Riding the momentum, I made a significant investment to join a comprehensive program that helps me launch digital courses from start to finish.

“I deserve this support,” I affirm myself.

Here it is again - the beautiful balance of giving and receiving: I gave the financial investment and received the precious know-how that’ll save me years of struggling alone.

Then a new challenge quickly shows up: this program requires a major time commitment.

I ask my life partner Martin to take care of the baby when she wakes up instead of me.

So I can sleep in a bit more, exercise, and do a 50-minutes deep work session when I tackle the most important task of the day.

Every Monday, I have a business ritual when I check in with my heart and ask: How am I feeling?

Last week, I wrote down the word “supported”.

I’m 31 and this is the first time I know how being supported feels. It feels like strength, like love, like home.

When I look deeper within, I can see why I resist getting support.

I’m the first-born daughter. In Asian culture, that means being the giver is my role.

When I was just a fetus, people stood around my mother’s protruding belly and said:

“Lucky you for having a first-born girl. She’ll be such a great help.”

When you are little, you help out by not bothering others with your needs. I played by myself. I ate what was given to me. I didn’t ask for much. My parents often praise me for being an easy baby.

Can you imagine? Having your self-worth measured by not having any needs and not needing any help?

This is the wound I’m still healing.

I keep telling the little girl in me: “Honey, it’s okay to have needs. It’s safe to ask for help.”

You can start by taking 10 minutes to journal about these 3 questions:

1. What’s an area in my life or business that I’m struggling the most with?

(Example: Being consistent with writing and sharing original content to grow my brand and audience)

2. What’s the story I'm telling myself about this struggle?

(Example: I’m not disciplined enough. My story isn’t impressive enough. I wasn’t born a “writer.” I’m just not ready yet. The time isn’t right.)

3. That story may not be the absolute truth. I may just need the right support. What's one simple thing I can do to get support?

(Example: Post on Facebook to find a writing partner whom I can meet once a week for 2 hours online to write with.)

Share your answers with me in the comment below. I’d love to read it.

Don't struggle alone. Step out from your shell of isolation. Experience the beauty in receiving.

There’s infinite love out there in the Universe, and some of it is for you.

PS: receive the support to make an impact

Want to craft impactful stories, build an authentic brand, grow an audience of loyal readers and touch lives? Don’t struggle alone, let me help!

I’ve created a step-by-step guide to start your blog (or any writing project) and not give up on it, download below!

The Beauty in Receiving

“What the hell is wrong with me?"

PS: receive the support to make an impact

SHARING = LOVING

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