Can You Build a Coaching Business While Being a Highly-Sensitive Person?

I don't remember how I stumbled upon Dr. Elaine Aron's book The Highly Sensitive Person in 2017. But I remember when I saw the title, my intuition said, "This is me." And it was right.

If you're reading this, either you already knew you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) or now suspect you're one. (In the latter case, take a quick quiz here to confirm.)

Regardless, I'm happy you found this article because while growing a coaching business comes with its own kind of hurdles, growing a coaching business as an HSP brings up such a unique set of challenges that if you don't know how to navigate, may make the entrepreneurship journey not just unsustainable but self-destructive.

Let's get started with some facts on HSP. According to Dr. Elaine Aron, the expert figure in high-sensitivity research:

HSP is found in 15%-20% of the population. So even though it's not a disorder, it's not well understood by the majority of those around you.

HSP is an innate form of neurodivergent where the brains are wired differently from birth.

Though HSPs are often associated with introversion, 30% of HSPs are extroverted.

As an HSP, your brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply. You notice and absorb more subtleties in your environment than others.

This also means you're more easily overwhelmed and overstimulated.

HSPs born in a culture or childhood environment that doesn't value sensitivity tend to have low self-esteem because they are constantly told,

"Don't be so emotional and sensitive!"

From my experience as a coach, HSP can be a priceless gift. Your ability to notice and absorb subtleties makes you an excellent listener. "Reading" people comes naturally to you. Thus, you can intuit the coaching response to support your clients best in the session.

HSP also makes you a gifted facilitator since you "simply know" how to tweak the environment to make your clients feel most comfortable. (Like lowering the volume of the music or dimming the light.)

As an HSP, I view my high sensitivity as a superpower.

But - like that old Spider-Man saying: "With power comes responsibility" - to harness its power instead of being cursed by it, I need to take full responsibility in supporting myself.

Having learned my lessons the hard way in the last 10 years of being a helping practitioner, entrepreneur, and coach, I hope this will help you avoid the pitfalls and add a lot more ease to your journey (which, let be honest, is what all HSPs desperately crave.)

Here are 8 things you, as an HSP, need to know to start your coaching business with ease:

1.

Most mainstream business and marketing approaches weren't created for someone like you.

Here is the reality in the business and marketing education space.

Most materials were created by straight, white men who are likely non-HSP (Plus they also have 4 times more testosterone than you if you inhibit a woman's body! Which means their bodies are built to handle 4 times more stress than yours.)

These materials then get passed down, adapted, and populated by “thought-leaders” and celebrity entrepreneurs, mostly non-HSP.

Since you belong to 15% of the population, at least 4 out of 5 times, the strategy that gets taught to (and may work well for) the majority won't work for you.

(And by "work for you," I mean to help you create sustainable results without compromising your well-being and traumatizing your nervous system.)

So what do you do?

Use your "HSP spider-sense" to discern when a business approach feels "icky" or "misaligned" to you.

Dare to unsubscribe from that business mentor (even if they seem outwardly popular) or radically tweak the approach to make it fit with you. Even better, look for mentors who focus on helping HSP coaches.

If posting on social media 2 times daily feels overwhelming, how about starting with 2 times a week?

The idea of starting a TikTok channel makes you shudder. Try writing long-form, in-depth articles for your own blog instead.

Thinking of enrolling 10 clients makes you shut down? Open 3 slots or even 1 as a start.

And here is another good reason why:

2.

Your most crucial survival skill is to minimize overstimulation.

Since your HSP brain absorbs information like sponges, it's easier for you to get overstimulated and overwhelmed. When overstimulated, you can shut down emotionally, mentally, and physically, thus losing access to your superpower.

You can avoid overstimulation by being intentional with your lifestyle.

I've stopped taking caffeine for 2 years because it exhausted my adrenal gland. When I go to a restaurant, I ask for outdoor seating instead of indoor to avoid noise fatigue. My Monday is reserved for spa time, self-reflection, and intentional team meetings, so I don't feel rushed into action at the start of the week.

But we all know life isn't perfect. So, it's equally important to learn how to down-regulate yourself back to a tranquil state when you're overstimulated.

This brings me to #3.

3.

You need generous chunks of "Me time" baked into your calendar.

My life changed when I started giving myself 90 minutes in the morning right after dropping off my baby, to myself.

I name it "Nourishment Ritual" and do whatever feels most nourishing to my body that day. I'm not rigid about what I'd do because my body needs different things in different weeks of my menstruation cycle. (For more knowledge on cyclical living, check out Woman Code by Alisa Vitti.)

Some days I'd go for a quick burst of cardio (I have a paid subscription with The Class digital studio.) Other days, I lie on my yoga mat and stare at the sky. Some days, I take a warm bath.

I also take 2 hours away in the middle of the day for lunch and a nap.

Once a week, I devote my full Saturday to "Milena Day" where I do whatever I want with myself. Joining an art class, a Zumba session, checking out a gallery, going to the cinema, or watching a good show.

Once a month I plan for a short trip away alone to unplug and connect with nature.

If you're reading this and think "This is ridiculous, there's no way I have the time or money for this level of luxury," I understand.

My past self would think the same. Until I drove myself ragged trying to operate like someone else, got CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), and finally was forced to unapologetically own my needs.

Now I've learned that radical self-nourishment isn't a luxury; it's a necessity. Which leads me to #4.

4.

Advocate for your needs even when no one understands.

Sometimes, even till today, a little voice in my head still says:

"How dare you spoil yourself this much? How dare you leave your kid to play with the nanny while you're here in the bathtub? How dare you spend all this time idling instead of being productive?"

Then I remind myself that little voice is millennia of social oppression I've internalized. Society has conditioned women to put themselves last, to people-please at the expense of our health, and to over-function in order to prove that "we're good enough" because we were taught from the start that we are worth less than men.

This is the intergenerational trauma that has been passed down to me through the women of my lineage. And it ends with me. I hope it also ends with you.

I've carefully curated an inner circle of loved ones who support my needs even when they don't fully understand. I've also relentlessly championed myself by being honest about my struggles, setting firm boundaries, asking for what I need, and finding the resources to meet them.

It's not always comfortable. But it's life-sustaining.

5.

Please don't ignore or bypass your difficult emotions (though you'll feel tempted to.)

So often during my luteal phase (the week right before my menstruation), I'm faced with a cocktail of uncomfortable emotions: iration, rage, ambiguity, anxiety, stuckness, sadness... You name it.

Modern life is good at helping you escape from these emotions (the next Netflix show is at the click of a finger!)

Mainstream spirituality and personal development tell you to bypass these emotions with “positive thinking” and "focusing on high-vibration emotions only!"

Both of these won't help you in the long term. You may be able to numb these difficult emotions for a while, but soon, they'll come back, screaming louder than before.

Learn to hold space for these difficult emotions. Be a compassionate witness. Observe them with an intention to connect, not to fix or change or even "heal."

These difficult emotions will reveal honest insights about your unmet needs, unlived desires, or things you must let go of because they no longer work for you (toxic relationship patterns, misaligned work, limiting belief, old identity, or an unsustainable way of operating...)

Our minds are so rigged with fear-based ego, self-grandiosity, and social conditioning,

That's why difficult emotions are much more accurate signposts to your true destiny than thoughts, goals, or even “vision”.

It does take time, though, to build your capacity to hold space for and properly connect with difficult emotions. (If it was easy, all of us would already be doing it!) So getting support from a skilled coach can make a big difference.

As you experience the way your coach holds space for you, you'll naturally build your own muscles to support yourself the same way.

***Let go of everything and see what's left: You. Your pure desires. Your authentic needs. Your true gifts.***

6.

You must honor your inner rhythm, season of life, and nervous system capacity.

Even though this is good advice for everyone, HSPs must take this more seriously than others. When there's misalignment, you WILL feel it, and you will feel it hard.

Your HSP body isn't built to tolerate stress and overwhelm. It'll send its cry for help through various forms of health problems, from skin breakout to clenched jaws, kidney infection, chronic/adrenal fatigue syndrome, or autoimmune diseases.

In short, for HSP, abandoning yourself is deadly.

On the contrary, coming home to yourself is life-giving.

Where in your business and life are you abandoning yourself?

How would building a business as an act of homecoming look like for you?

Dare to go at your own pace even if it seems slower than others.

Dare to spend less time producing and more time restoring even if everyone else seems to hustle all the time. (Putting in more time doesn’t auto-magically mean getting better results anyway.)

Dream big, but allow yourself to start small so as to allow your nervous system the time to gradually build its capacity.

To avoid overwhelm and overstimulation, HSPs require smoother and potentially longer transitions than others. And that’s why I love the concept of “bridge.”

So if your goal is to charge $2,000 for a 3-month coaching package, but your body feels shut down by it - how about setting a “bridge rate” of $1,000 which may feel more grounded in your body?

If you want to quit your corporate job but the thought of handing in the 5-week notice tomorrow makes you freeze - how about planning for a “bridge job” where you can work less but still have an income stream while you grow your coaching business?

7.

Toxic corporate culture is lethal for you.

As I've shared in #6, the HSP body isn't built to tolerate misalignment. Trying to fit into a toxic corporate culture will feel like taking slow poison 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

Of course, I'm not encouraging you to quit tomorrow and can't pay for next month's rent.

But it's crucial that you get serious about planning for a "bridge job," which will give you a level of financial safety while you set the foundation for your dream coaching business.

Some "bridge job" options include: asking to be moved to a part-time role in a department more aligned with the coaching space, like training; finding freelance work where you can use the skills you've honed in corporate but have more time flexibility and location freedom; inquire if coaching brands or personal development companies you've followed have an opening; and so many more!

You may need to simplify your life and downsize your expenses. But the space you gain to come home to yourself and connect to your gift will be so worth it.

8.

If you're a parent, be willing to parent differently.

I remember after getting pregnant with Elisa, beneath my excitement was a constant sense of doom.

"How do I take care of another human being's needs when I can barely take care of my own??"

Now Elisa is almost 3, and I've learned this: I can't.

I can't take care of another human being's needs. Not by myself.

As an HSP, "it takes a village to raise a child" takes on a whole damn new level of truth.

For a non-HSP mom, "the village" may look like half a day of daycare 5 days a week for her 3 kids.

For me, I've dared to spoil myself rotten in this "village" department by acquiring: a full-time nanny and housekeeper, preschool, grandma living with us, and daddy stepping ALL THE WAY up - far FAAAAAAAAR away from the stereotypical "half-involved father" still accepted by society.

I also have chosen to have only 1 child. (And anyone who asks, "Why not have 2? Will your child get lonely?" can get the hell away from me.)

I'm here to give you permission to LET GO. To NOT have the house perfectly tidied, or your child perfectly breastfed, or family meals perfectly cooked or you being the perfectly present mother.

Let go of everything that society taught you about how a "good mother" or a "good woman" (or, really, ever since you were little, a "good girl") is supposed to behave. Misbehave.

Let go of everything and see what's left: You. Your pure desires. Your authentic needs. Your true gifts.

They matter.

Honour them.

And watch your high sensitivity make you into the healing light your community and our world sorely need.

Milena

P.S. Start enrolling your first soulmate client today!

Now that you’ve unlocked all your HSP superpowers, it’s time to put them into practice. The most important thing to start a coaching business is to know who you are and who you’re serving.

That’s why I’ve created a Zero to Launching Manual to help you start your coaching business from scratch and start enrolling your first soulmate client! Click the banner below to download now.

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I help YOU get paid to change the world.

Hey, fellow purpose-driven human!

I’m Milena. When I was 24, I said no to corporate job offers to “do my own thing.”

9 years, some major fumbles, 3 TEDx Talks, 1 published book, 50,000 followers, and hundreds of clients (from 15+ countries) later…

I make a multi-six-figure living as a coach while spending most of my time walking barefoot in my apartment. #introvertgoal

I know you want to make a difference.

I’m here to help you turn that calling into a financially sustainable coaching business — while staying away from the hustle, and skipping the pitfalls that trip up most new coaches.

Quit your 9-to-5. Move to a paradise island. Slow yoga every morning. Work from sunlit cafes. Make time for loved ones (including yourself). Grow your influence. Wake up excited about your day. And serve only the clients who light you up…

All of that (and more!) is possible, once you have the right support.

Let me help you shine.

that’s not enough, tell me more!