The Dark Side of The Coaching Industry
I’m sitting at an outdoor table of a sunlit cafe near my condo.
Lush monstera plants surround me, making my inner tree-hugger giddy.
I’ve come here to write a new blog article.
So I turn on my laptop, open a blank Google Doc, and then - of course - check Instagram.
After a few clicks, I land on the feed of a coach in my network. Click, click, click…
My mind starts to take in…
a reel of them celebrating “making 60K in 3 days”, with a wink.
a caption of them proclaiming to have “the secret to succeed” no one else has.
a screenshot of one of their clients who just “manifested 20K”.
A little voice inside my head says: “Maybe they really have “the secret’.”
At the same time, an icky feeling rises up in my throat; my heart beats faster; my chest shrinks; my feet and hands feel panicky.
Years of practice in mind-body awareness kicks in.
I take a deep breath and close the browser tab. Slowly returning to the cafe, the monstera and the task I’ve come here to do: write a new article.
Yes, I’m a business coach. And yet, so many things about mainstream business coaching make me angry. Perpetuating toxic marketing tactics as the norm is just one part of it.
A few weeks after that event, thanks to the help of my coach, I could name what really happened: My body and mind were hijacked by toxic marketing.
7 years in the coaching industry have allowed me to see the dark side of the business coaching space.
Yes, I’m a business coach. And yet, so many things about mainstream business coaching make me angry. Perpetuating toxic marketing tactics as the norm is just one part of it.
As you look for ways to kickstart your coaching business, it’s important to educate yourself to not fall prey to the harms mainstream business coaching can cause.
Here are 5 major “red flags” to look out for when you’re exposing yourself to the influence or content of any business coach:
1.
Flaunting revenue without context
Without enough context, “60K in 3 days” looks like a shockingly good result that can trigger massive FOMO.
But many things might have happened behind this number:
Scenario 1: 3 clients commit to annual coaching packages of 20K each; 1 of them pay in full, 2 others pay monthly; which means big revenue in the first month and significantly lower revenue in the following 11 months.
Not to mention years of cultivating the relationship for these 3 clients to arrive at the stage where they can confidently invest. So this result, even though amazing in its own right, is not created “in 3 days.”
Scenario 2: 2 clients verbally say yes to annual coaching packages of 30K each. However, 1 pulls out after 1 week because they have buyer’s remorse. (But of course, the coach won’t make a reel to update their audience of this inconvenient event.)
Scenario 3: 1 client signs up for an annual coaching package of 20K. The coach “manifested” the other 40K by borrowing from their family.
So, you see, without context, the revenue displayed by the business coach may give you unrealistic expectations.
Therefore, impeding your critical thinking when considering investing in their services. Especially if you’re already in financial distress and may not be able to bounce back from an ill-informed investment.
2.
Proclaiming they have the “ultimate secret to succeed” no one else has
Business coaches who use this tactic can make you feel desperate for their solution because they’re suddenly The One who holds the key to your desires.
However, this claim is unethical. Plain and simple.
Building a business is a complex problem that requires diverse solutions.
No single person, no matter how skilled or experienced, can have the “ultimate secret.”
As a business coach, I can only provide you with an option, a path among many potential paths, one that I’ve built to the best of my capabilities, based on my expertise and experience.
But I can’t, and will never proclaim that my path is the best or only path to succeed.
You need to use your critical thinking to discern if the path I offer resonates with you. And then choose to engage deeper with me, or not.
Be extra wary when a business coach conveys, either explicitly or implicitly, that you won’t succeed without their solution. Or “if you don’t invest in big-ticket coaching, you won’t attract big-ticket clients.”
That’s a fear-based, gaslighting tactic. And it’s just gross.
3.
Over-promising a “fast and easy” result
Here’s something most business coaches won’t tell you. Because they know it’s not what you want to hear.
A coaching business is not a McDonald’s cheeseburger.
And everything meaningful takes time.
I’m not saying it’s impossible to make “100K in 6 months.” But results like that are the exceptions, not the norm. (Not to mention, there needs to be context to back up those numbers. Back to #1.)
I believe we need to normalize the fact that growing a business takes time.
There are many things to figure out, especially when you’re just starting out.
It takes time to know who you are, who you serve, and what makes you unique as a coach. To hone your coaching techniques, your enrolment skills, and your marketing infrastructure.
Having a mentor or a coach who shows you the path is a huge advantage.
Still, because each of us is so unique in experience, resource, network, life season, and how we’re wired - a strategy that has worked repeatedly for others may not play out for you in the same way.
“Get rich quick” advertisements may make you doubt yourselves and get distracted when you’re actually doing all the right things to lay the foundation for long-term business success.
So, if you’re seeing a business coach promoting something that feels too good to be true, it probably is.
No single person, no matter how skilled or experienced, can have the “ultimate secret.”
4.
Over-glorifying external wins while under-acknowledging internal wins
Now, I’m all for celebrating concrete business results like revenue, clients, and audience growth.
But obsessing over those metrics without tending to YOU as a human being is incomplete at best, and self-destructive at worst.
What angers me is business coaches, by choosing to over-display external wins of themselves and their clients, perpetuate a culture that fetishizes looking successful rather than feeling and being successful.
I’d rather you make 20K in 6 months while recovering from chronic fatigue, having more time for your kids, and starting to paint again…
than you making “100K in 6 months” while deteriorating your health and relationships.
(I’m not saying you have to choose between profit and peace, or between wealth and wellbeing. You can definitely have both).
But your nervous system may need more time to build its capacity to receive the next level of wealth without compromising what you’re not willing to sacrifice.)
To me, a solid business win is:
🏆enrolling a new soulmate client, knowing in your heart that they’ll benefit from your offering and that you’ll love serving them.
🏆reaching your monthly revenue goal for 3 consecutive months while feeling more alive and vibrant.
🏆attracting 100 new subscribers to your mailing list this month because you’re unapologetically authentic with your content and therefore, supercharging your magnetism.
A solid business win is also:
💐choosing not to enrol any client this month because you’re moving to a new city and you want to make space for this transition.
💐being kind with yourself and celebrating your courage for putting yourself out there even though your launch didn’t go as you expected.
💐intentionally slowing down and putting less content out there this quarter to reserve your energy to navigate a health situation.
Honoring your outer and inner wins in equal measure is the key to creating a coaching business that SETS YOU FREE instead of trapping you in a prison of burnout and dissatisfaction.
5.
Selling solutions without the track record to back it up
In my second year of growing my coaching business, I lost 10,000 USD to a “marketing expert” who told me that if I just put money in Facebook ads, my online course would automatically sell out, and I’d turn a good profit from my investment.
We had a good personal relationship before I hired him. And to this day, I still think of him as a good person.
But what he did wrong was to sell a solution that he had no track record to back up. And I bought it due to my lack of business experience.
I think of this 10,000 USD as a “tuition fee” for a good business lesson. But not everyone has that kind of privilege.
I’ve met coaches who wiped out their savings and struggled to pay their mortgage because some “marketing experts” sold them a solution and failed to deliver.
One coach I’m thinking of in particular is a single mother with aging parents to care for.
This is not okay, and it HAS TO STOP.
Next time you see a marketing expert or business coach, be discerning. Take time to observe and inquire. Again, use your critical thinking.
Did they build the kind of coaching business you aspire to build?
Are they living the life you aspire to live?
Have they consistently helped coaches at a similar stage as you create your desired result?
Before investing a big amount, invest in their smaller offerings to assess whether their story, approach, intention, and energy feel “clean.”
If something feels “off” or “icky,” trust your body and get the hell out of there.
I remember my yoga teacher training 10 years ago as if it was yesterday.
In our opening ceremony, we lit a fire at the center of the hall and sat around it. My Guruji gave me a bowl of colorful spices to toss in the flame. We chanted in Sanskrit.
The first thing we learned about being a yoga teacher was “Ahimsa” which means, in simple terms, “Do no harm.”
I keep “Ahimsa” in my heart as I build my coaching business, too.
I’m not perfect. I’ll never be.
But I’m willing to learn better and do better, even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s uncomfortable.
I hope this article gives you back your power of discernment. An immunity booster shot for the ill practices that run rampant in the online space.
One more thing: don’t be afraid.
There are MANY business coaches and mentors who are truly gifts from the Universe, who can and will help you actualize your deepest desires and fullest potential.
If you engage your critical thinking and trust your body’s intuitive wisdom, you’ll find them. The Universe is bringing them to you anyway.
xo
Milena
PS: Was this article helpful? Which one among the five red flags above stood out the most to you?
Write back to me. (I’m serious! I personally read every single comment.)
Hearing from you means the world to me.
P.S. align your inner calling with your coaching business
Building a purposeful coaching business takes time, and it’s easy for new coaches to fall for the unwanted traps that take away your investment and time. I’ve learned my lessons, and here’s what I can share with you.
With this, I’ve created a Zero to Launching Manual to help you start your coaching business from scratch and start enrolling your first soulmate client! Click the banner below to download now.
SHARING = LOVING
I help YOU get paid to change the world.
Hey, fellow purpose-driven human!
I’m Milena. When I was 24, I said no to corporate job offers to “do my own thing.”
9 years, some major fumbles, 3 TEDx Talks, 1 published book, 50,000 followers, and hundreds of clients (from 15+ countries) later…
I make a multi-six-figure living as a coach while spending most of my time walking barefoot in my apartment. #introvertgoal
I know you want to make a difference.
I’m here to help you turn that calling into a financially sustainable coaching business — while staying away from the hustle, and skipping the pitfalls that trip up most new coaches.
Quit your 9-to-5. Move to a paradise island. Slow yoga every morning. Work from sunlit cafes. Make time for loved ones (including yourself). Grow your influence. Wake up excited about your day. And serve only the clients who light you up…
All of that (and more!) is possible, once you have the right support.
Let me help you shine.
12 reasons why I wasn’t meant to have a successful coaching business (and how I succeed instead)