The wound is the place where the light enters you…
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Real talk, messy truth, and your parents’ opinions…
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Hint: It’s all about the story you tell yourself.
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In Midair
It is July 31st, 2015. I am half way through my yoga teacher training with a queer feeling of being in midair. The same as in a long-haul, cross-continental flight: you’re crossing the ocean in the pitch-blackness of night, having your belly strapped in the leather seat of a flying metal box. Time and place blur away in the soft breaths of asleep passengers. You don’t belong to anywhere.
I guess this feeling signals the teacher training program’s effects. Our day includes pranayama – yogic breathing exercises – and meditation, philosophy, theory lesson, yoga asana practice. From 6AM to 8PM, every day except Sunday, in a 1 month duration.
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Rapha and I are walking in City Square Mall, hands in hands. I am here in Singapore visiting him and we are going out for dinner. On a whim, I say “I’m gonna close my eyes now. And you lead me” “OK,” he replies, already used to my spontaneity.
I interlace my fingers with his, close my eyes. Rapha is walking on my left, a little bit in front. I sense the direction through the gentle pull of his arm and his voice whispering “Now 1 step down. Now 3 steps up.”
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I learnt this from a book of Julia Cameron. She compares art with pearl. Do you know how pearl is created? It is created out of a disturbance: a grain of sand, for example, finds its way inside an oyster’s shell. To protect itself, the oyster releases a substance to cover that grain of sand. That’s how pearl is made. The beautiful pearl is art; the act of transforming pain to beauty is a greater art. That’s the big art of our life.
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- How can you be so happy all the time? - Because I choose to
Happiness is a choice. We make this choice everyday, from the moment we wake up to the moment we tuck ourselves back in bed. We choose to be happy, or we choose to be unhappy. Choosing doesn't just mean the self-whispering: “I choose to be happy.” The actions that we take, together paint the picture of our choice. Many of us choose to be unhappy our whole life.
Choose to be happy means choose to be ourselves and to live our life. Not to be somebody else, or to live somebody else’s life. To talk, and walk, and see, and breathe the way only we know how.
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