Money and You: How (and Why) to Create a Loving Relationship

I made real money for the first time in 8th grade.

I was mad for manga and so were half of my classmates.

We read Naruto, Inu Yasha, Hunter X Hunter under the tables… and swoon over the characters.

In front of our school gate, there was a shop selling manga merchandise. Everyday kids like me drooled over those keychains, badges, and pins.

One day, I had a brilliant idea: why not try to make those keychains myself?

I went to an internet shop, browsed Yahoo images (yes, Yahoo) for artworks of the hottest manga characters, and saved them in my dad’s floppy-disk (yes, floppy-disk).

I had them colored-printed, and then ran to the old uncle who had a “laminating shop” - one rusty machine on the back of his 200-year-old bicycle - to laminate those pictures for cheap.

With my dad’s 2-hole mini puncher, I punched holes to attach keychains on them.

Tada! My products were complete.

The next day, I showed up in class with a dozen of those keychains. I sold everything in one morning.

The following days, my keychains were sold out again. Soon enough, kids from other classes started to hand me their pocket money. Lo and behold, my business had expanded!

I had a small red cotton wallet with a fat kitten’s face sewed on it. I kept all my money there.

I felt proud that my fat kitten was getting fatter.

I could buy manga, eat chè after school (a Vietnamese dessert made with black beans, shaved coconut, jelly, served cold with lots of other random ingredients. Delicious!). I could also invest back in my business to make nicer and more keychains.

One afternoon, I sat in the back of the class with my red kitten wallet, counting money. I had a “boyfriend” at the time and he was sitting next to me. I turned to him beaming:

“Look, how much money I made!”

He did not smile.

Instead, he gave me, my money, and my red kitten wallet a cold look. He grunted:

“Money, money! Now you always think about money! What a girl you are!”

I went silent. I was shocked and then I was ashamed. What he said confused me.

“Maybe I’m really becoming bad…” I wondered.

I stopped making keychains after that.

Now, looking back I think:

“Dude, what a dumb thing to say. You could’ve had chè with me for free, every day after school!”

At the same time, I wonder:

“He was a young boy! What must have he heard from other people to have such a negative view about women making money?!”

Until now, this story and its cultural implications still surprise me.

“Do what you love and money will follow”” = one of the most loved lies ever invented.

I can empathize with him, after all. My mom has never stopped reminding me how I shouldn’t care about making money so much.

“Leave that to the man!” she said.

Money was also a loaded topic in my family.

At dinner tables, over boiled pork and stir-fried kang kong, my parents had many heated arguments over the last thing my dad bought and the last thing my mom refused to buy.

The more money they made, the more they quarreled.

Those stories later shaped the way I felt towards money.

If money were a human, how would it look like to you?

For me, money used to look like Scrooge, the protagonist of Charles Dickens' “A Christmas Carol”.

I was afraid of Scrooge. I was very much afraid of money.

Of course, I didn’t go around panting:

“Check this 1 dollar note! I’m terrified!”

The fear was hidden deep in my subconscious.

To me, money was an evil force that would 1) turn me into a bad person 2) make me become an undesirable woman. And 3) the more money there is, the less love there will be.

At a subconscious level, because I was afraid of money I wanted to get rid of them, fast.

So I spent all the money I made. And I was terrible at asking for money, even when it was a fair exchange for my hard work.

This created serious problems when I became an entrepreneur. I actively avoided dealing with money, abandoned all the accounting and finance work to my partner.

I told myself: “Do what you love and money will follow” - which, by the way, is one of the most over-romanticized lies ever invented.

Luckily, I had a wake-up call.

At a subconscious level, because I was afraid of money, I wanted to get rid of them, fast.

It was when my partner and I held each other crying. We hid in the balcony, trying to sob as quietly as possible. Because our students were in the main room and we couldn’t let them see us.

We just came back from a 3-day retreat. We were exhausted when we found out that we barely broke even. We weren’t in it for the money but the pain of endless giving without return hurt us.

That wouldn’t happen if I paid attention to our cash flow.

But I didn’t, I was too afraid of Scrooge.

After that wake-up call, I started to feel suspicious.

“Maybe I have some unacknowledged problems with money.”

And indeed, as you already know, I did.

I began an inner expedition to explore my money issues and build a better relationship with money. From replacing my limiting money beliefs to healing my money wounds...

I remember one morning when I was on the plane flying from Vietnam to Singapore. I pulled out my pen and notebook to write a Love Letter to Money.

“Dear money.

Thank you so much for having been there for me all along.

It is because of you that I can take this flight. Because of you, I could buy vegetable soup and fried rice. Because of you, I have these clothes to keep my body warm and make me feel beautiful.

I’m sorry for having avoided you, run away from you, and treated you without care. Please forgive me...”

It was a long letter. I cannot recall it fully now. But I remember crying writing it, next to confused passengers who must have thought I was writing a Please-Come-Back-to-Me letter to an ex-boyfriend or something.

Healing my relationship with money took effort but it was worth it.

Without that, I wouldn’t have been able to build my current business, making the impact I believe in, and having the lifestyle that I love.

Now money relationship is an element I almost always touch upon when I help coaches and healers build their full-time practice.

I’m a conscious commander of my money. With love, I give my money the right environment to grow.

Below are six powerful money affirmations that have served me.

I hope they help you shift your relationship with money to a more loving space.

Money flows through me freely, effortlessly and abundantly - from a place of love and to a place of love.
Through offering my paid services, I’m creating incredible opportunities for my clients and students to invest in themselves. These investments are bound to return to them 10 folds or more.
I’m a conscious commander of my money. With love, I give my money the right environment to grow. With gratitude, I channel my money to nourish my health, my growth, my mission, my loved ones, and the Earth.
I deserve and fully accept the abundance that the loving Universe destines for me.
My money container is as big as the ocean itself. Because I’m clear about my purpose and how I want to use the money to make a big impact on this world.
I’m grateful for the infinite abundance I receive every day: in money, in health, in beauty, in love, in joy, in the air I breathe and the water I drink... I can see how the Universe always takes care of my every need. I simply need to stay open to receive Her Love.

Now to me, money doesn’t look like Scrooge anymore.

Money feels like the Hindu goddess Lakshmi, seated on a blossoming lotus in the middle of a golden lake. She is smiling to me, radiating love, generously flowing money to my life like the sweet golden lake water.

All I need to do is to keep the door open.

Milena xo

PS: Purpose brings abundance

Being clear about what you’re here to give through your work or business will help you create a more compelling offer.

Being clear about the impact you want to create in the world (donating to charity, investing in your purposeful business etc.) will help you create a bigger money container. If you don’t know where you want your money to go, your money will be confused!

Thus, clarity of purpose is a key component to bring more abundance in your life.

That’s why I’ve created a gorgeous 15-page workbook to help you start finding unique purpose. Download below and enjoy learning!

Money and You - How (and Why) to Create a Loving Relationship

“Do what you love and money will follow”” = one of the most loved lies ever invented.

At a subconscious level, because I was afraid of money, I wanted to get rid of them, fast.

I’m a conscious commander of my money. With love, I give my money the right environment to grow.

Milena xo

PS: Purpose brings abundance

SHARING = LOVING

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