A Letter about Love-Making and Blossoming
to my 200 lovers at National Convention 2015 of AIESEC in Malaysia. And to those who are in love with life.
I come to you.
I come to you, hoping that I will help you the way only I can: to be myself – from beginning till end – from forehead to toes, and be nothing else.
I want to show you, and - perhaps more importantly – show myself that we need not become something else in order to be loved. That the “chair” need not jump, shout, burst with energy all the time; the “chair” can also be quiet, tender, vulnerable, sensitive, dance in yoga attire, tell her story of death in tears, and read poem in a flowery dress.
I keep telling myself that I need not be firework if I’m a gentle light – the type you see glowing in the dark, you feel your eyes and heart softens.
It is not only me you love...
When I looked into your eyes and hugged you in my arms in the closing plenary, I saw tears ran down your cheeks. You loved me. And I believe so.
But it is not only me you love. It is yourself you love. I gave you yourself.
“Look at this! This is you! This is who you are: flesh and bones. See those knees, nails, knuckles, toes! Those corners of your eyes, those freckles on your cheeks, those tiny and shiny hairs on your forearms and at the back of your neck, the beautiful curl of your spine. Imperfect and perfect. Magnificent. Love yourself. Love yourself dearly.”
When I took you to the magic mirror house, so you see yourself clearly, I saw myself clearly too.
When I asked you to close your eyes and time travel to your favorite place in childhood and have a conversation with your 5 years old. I met my 5 year-old too. I cried too.
So you see. Self-love and loving others are not 1 thing, but also not 2 things. As I give love to myself, I give love to you. And I give love to you in a way so that I’m also loved.
The 5-year-old knows nothing but love and joy. This means she knows everything: who you are; what you want; what you were born in this earth to do. She knows whether you’re happy, or not. She knows whether you are walking through life with a closed or open heart.
She is the most courageous person you know. Because an innocent heart has no fear. So I hope you visit her often and let her guide your path.
The highest art of love-making
I spend time with her often. In fact it is she who writes these words. She stays next to me when I draw, write, dance through yoga. She tells me:
“making art is making love with life.”
So here’s the highest art of love-making: make love with life. Are you the hater, the cynical, the bitter, the widow? Or are you the lover?
I asked you to find your “moment of infinity” in the conference. So I think I may share with you some of mine. I have so many.
When we high-five. When When we did AIESEC dance. When I taught you yoga. When I guided you through meditation. When I watched you meditate. When I watched you draw your dreams. When I felt your tears on my shoulders. When I read your sugar cubes, messages, and emails.
When I read my poem at the end of the conference, my hands were shaking and my voice trembling. Words came out without inhibition, overflowing with love, from my belly to yours.
When I performed yogic dance on morning plenary of Day 3, hairs at the back of my neck stood up, sweats run through my back. I pressed strongly on the cool wooden floor and rose up to the stage light. You were all so quiet I could hear my own breaths. And at the end, when the music was over and I curled down in Child pose, nothing was left but my breaths and my heartbeats. That moment was 100 years.
Blossom
I hope I showed you something about self-expression. You are wild flower. Expressing yourself is your blossoming. That’s precisely why you were put in this earth: to blossom.
Express yourself simply, truly, honestly, naturally. Express yourself from your belly. Express yourself with your breaths. Through your words and your work, through your art, through the baby steps you take to make your dream come true. When you express yourself from your belly, and mindful of that expression; you have found your moment of infinity.
No cover-up. If you’re a wild flower, blossom as a wild flower, don’t bloom as a rose. At the end, all flowers wither and die. The difference is: only some dare to blossom. Be the daring one.
Let go inhibition. The only thing you need to do is get out of the way and let it blossom. Let go of fear through mindfulness, meditation, yoga… Come back home, meet your 5-year-old, return to innocence.
Love, and sing, and dance, and create, and change the world with the beats of your baby-bird heart, and the rising and falling of your belly. When you need courage, take a deep breathe. It’s not hard. Simply put one foot in front of the other.
Blossom. This is your best shot to lead a good life, and make life good for others.