Imagine sailing on a sunny day. The sky is wide open. The wind is kissing your sail. You have a destination in mind: a paradise island. 

You’re enjoying the vast ocean landscape, the smell of saltwater, the sound of the waves tapping at your boat. 

But days went by, and the island is still not in sight. You know you’re meant to arrive by now. 

A jolt of alarm hit your body: you’re lost! Meanwhile, thick clouds are forming a grey mountain on the horizon…

Now, tell me, what would you do?  

You’re not being difficult, spoiled, or ungrateful. This pain is your soul calling you to where you are born for. 

I’ve asked this question in many talks and workshops. Occasionally, I received hilarious responses from the audience: 

“Call my mother!”

“Panic and pray”

“Jump off the boat”

“Get drunk”

But most people said they’d reach for a navigational tool. Be it a map, a compass, an ocean GPS system. 

That’d help them find out their location, how far they are from the island, and choose a direction to turn their boat towards. 

How to get even more lost 

I believe getting lost while sailing at sea is the perfect metaphor for a career crisis. 

We feel lost. We question our path. We wonder why, despite our effort, we’re still nowhere near our destination. We know we don’t belong here, but we also don’t know where to go. 

So we: 

1/ Stay in the same place, leaving our boat and spirit to rust, or

2/ Make a wild guess, pick a random direction, and go on full speed. Only to discover, when we’ve burned out, that this was not it. 

I’m pretty sure we won’t make these mistakes when we’re sailing. Strangely, that’s what we do when we’re lost in our career. 

In my 4 years of professional coaching, I kept hearing things like: 

“I’ve jumped from one job to another for 10 years. Every time, I got excited and thought, ‘This is it!’. Then it always turned out not. I kept collecting a list of what I don’t want. But still have no idea what I want.” - S., Germany.

And worse, we end up feeling terrible about ourselves: 

“My friends told me I have a dream job. So I tried to be grateful. But I can’t help but feel that I don’t want it and I don’t belong. What’s wrong with me?” - T., Vietnam. 

The problem is not you 

If you feel the same way, I want to let you know that the problem is not you. 

The problem is that, like many others, you were never equipped with a navigational tool to find the work you belong to.  

Traditional education taught us how to get a good job: how to write a good CV, nail a job interview, go for what’s hot in the job market…

But none of that matters without knowing what we’re gifted with, what we love, what we value, and what we’re here to give to the world. 

A good looking LinkedIn profile won’t save us if we don’t know how to find work that allows ourselves to fully shine our inner light, or if it doesn’t exist, to create one.  

Imagine taking your boat to the ocean with no map, no compass, no GPS, no training whatsoever to read the stars and the sun. Of course, you’ll be lost, no matter how fancy your boat is. 

You need to let yourself feel the discontent of not following your purpose.

The truth about happiness

3 months ago, I was on a road trip to the forest with my friend Becky, when she told me something she’d recently learned. 

“We often think that we’re happy when we relax, like watching a favorite TV show, for example,” Becky said, her hands steady on the steering wheels, eyes fixed on the road ahead. 

“But research shows that we’re most happy when we’re working on something meaningful to us, when we’re in flow.” 

I think that’s why so many of us are feeling unhappy. Despite our nice apartment and our good salary, we feel “something is missing.” I notice in our body a quiet discontent, a deep longing for more. 

More meaning, more purpose, more joy - the fundamental happiness we feel when we wake up every morning to do the work that we’re born to do, instead of what we’re supposed to do.

the pain-killer is not the cure

Barbara Sher, the most candid self-help author I know, advised: 

“Don’t fool yourself by making lists in your head of all the great things in your life. Happy people don’t have to make lists.”   

I remember laughing out loud when I read this. 

This advice is controversial. Every guru is telling us to practice gratitude. “Make a list of 10 things you’re grateful for every day!” 

While I believe there is a virtue in this practice, I also see the truth in Barbara Sher’s advice. 

The discontent you feel is valid. You’re not being difficult, spoiled, or ungrateful. This pain is your soul calling you to where you were born for. 

My coach Bev Barnes, founder of the Soul’s Calling Academy, calls this Divine Discontent.

Don’t let gratitude practice, or any other spiritual practice, to numb this pain, to muffle this call.

You need to let yourself feel the discontent of not following your purpose. Be honest with yourself and admit what isn’t working. 

Human beings are so trapped in our habits, so afraid of uncertainty. We only change when it’s too painful not to. 

So stop running away. Feel the angst, the emptiness, the frustration.

Then ask your heart:

“What is the one tiny thing I can do to start finding the work I belong?” 

And listen when it whispers the answer. 

I love you, 

P.S: TAKE THE FIRST STEP TO FIND THE WORK YOU BELONG 

A life’s work truly takes time, but it’s worth it when we put our heartfelt investment into it.

If you desire to lead a purposeful life and make an impact, I’ve created this beautiful workbook just for you to rediscover your values.

Download below!

SHARING = LOVING