Give Yourself Permission to Shine
I’m flying from Frankfurt, Germany to Hanoi, Vietnam. The plane isn’t busy. I’m sitting in the middle row, stretching out both legs on the 3 empty seats on my right.
I’m listening to the hum of the engine, smelling that typical plane smell - something between new plastic and old fabric.
I have always found plane rides to be strangely soothing. The place between places. A pause to the daily.
I’m recovering from a quarter life crisis. You know, the one when your life looks good from the outside but doesn’t feel right on the inside.
Something important was missing. So I took a sabbatical break and have been travelling around Europe to find out what I really wanted.
This sounds fancy. In reality, it was just trains, budget airlines with back-breaking seats, and overnight buses with toilet cabins you wouldn’t dare to go in.
But it was worth it because when I was in Bonn, Germany, I had a moment of clarity when I reconnected with my yearning to express myself and my passion in people development.
Now it’s time to return to my home country Vietnam and do something about this clarity.
I gaze out the plane window. The horizon is orange on a bed of clouds.
“I can start a blog.” A thought pops into my mind.
No, it isn’t just a ‘thought’ from the monkey mind. It feels like guidance coming from within.
I never thought of myself as a creative person or a 'good writer'. But I’m starting over so what is there to lose anyway.
After all, I’ve spent 3 months ‘soul-searching’.
You can’t just keep on ‘searching’ forever. At some point, you need to do something with what you’ve found, no matter how little it is.
So when my plane lands in Noi Bai International Airport, I’ve decided to start my blog.
In August 2014, I wrote and published the first article in my bedroom.
I could feel my heart in my throat when I shared it on Facebook. I mean... what would people think?!
But to my surprise, my friends gave lots of positive comments. My past colleagues Cole and Katrina even offered to help me proof-read. (The proof that what you think people will think is only in your own head.)
As I continued to grow the blog one article at a time, I had to figure everything out on my own.
And there were many things to figure out:
What to write? How to write? Who am I writing to? How often do I publish? How to promote my blog? Domain. Hosting. Should I monetize? Do I even want to monetize? What does this all lead to?
Many of those questions were left unanswered as I tried to grow my blog through pure trials and errors.
To create a writing space, I had dragged my old wooden wardrobe to the middle of my bedroom, dividing the room in half.
My old bed, the one I used when I was a teenager, was on one side. On the other side, I positioned my high-school study desk facing the back of that wardrobe.
Sitting on that tiny desk writing days after days, I started feeling alone. I didn't know any bloggers like me. Even though writing itself is a solo act, I craved a community of writers who also wanted to make a difference.
Meanwhile, my parents were getting impatient.
One day at a family dinner, my dad asked:
"So are you getting a real job soon?"
"With your CV, you can make a lot of money working for international companies. I can also help you get a job in the government," mom chimed in.
I sat there, holding a half-eaten bowl of rice and stir-fried pork, not knowing what to say.
I began to think that maybe I should be looking for a "real job". Maybe none of this mattered. Who do I think I am to inspire others, anyway?
When you're alone on your journey, it's easier to believe in the voices of doubts and fears.
To be fair, not everything was bad.
The consistent blogging was getting me some traction. I was invited to speak at a small local event for young people.
On the night of the event, after I finished my talk and was walking back to my seat, a young girl came to me. She was taller than me, had an oval-shaped face and wore her dark long hair on a pony tail.
I had no idea who she was. But she held my hands and said:
"I read your blog, Milena. You helped me through my depression." - She was in tears. And in her eyes, I saw a spark.
I will never forget that spark.
It was the moment when I knew that my voice matters, my stories matter.
It is the moment that keeps me writing until now, 7 years later. With 1 book published, a blog that has organically touched half a million readers worldwide, and a thriving coaching business.
Brenda Ueland wrote in If You Want to Write: "Everybody is talented, original and has something important to say."
Everybody, including you.
What were the darkest moments in your life?
How did you make it through?
What did you learn?
These stories can change life. You can choose to keep it to yourself. Or you can choose to share it with the world.
Remember that when you give yourself permission to shine, you always light up others.
One day you may stand holding hands with someone whom you never met but her soul has known yours. You may gaze into her eyes and see a spark. It may hit you that this is the real job. This is why you're here.
P.s: LIGHT UP THE the world with your writing
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