“What am I doing here?!”

I’m at a resort in the beautiful Pismo Beach, California, where the 2-day seminar that marks the completion of my year-long coach training takes place. 

I’ve been looking forward to this event for the last 3 months. But it’s 30 minutes before the official start, and I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 

I just saw some participants in the lobby and realized that everyone was older than me by at least a decade. (Like… what?!)

Now I’m pacing around my room, wishing I could dig a hole on the floor to hide.

Imposter syndrome is hitting me. Hard. 

“I don’t belong here…” I mumble to myself. 

My partner - who has been sitting quietly on the bed, probably thinking whether he should call the front desk to ask for horse-tranquilizer - says:

“Well, then belong, Mili! Go there and. belong.” 

I ignored him and thought: “Sure! As if it’s that simple…” 

When it’s time to go, I power-walk to the main hall with my heart in my throat.

 As I arrive at the hall’s door, the first person I see is Bev. 

Bev sits on the coach training’s faculty. She is also my coach. We’ve been working with each other online, so this is the first time I meet her in person.

Bev’s eyes light up. She laughs and opens her big strong arms to give me a huge squeeze: “Welcome, Milena!!!” 

“Oh my god! It’s so good to meet you!” 

I relax in her arms, silently thanking the Universe for sending her.

“We’ll be ready in just a minute!” Bev says. 

“Sure!” I smile. Slowly, more participants begin to show up at the door. We greet each other and exchange small talks. But I’m so self-conscious that everything feels like a blur.   

As the seminar goes on, it slowly dawns upon me that no one in the room seems to care about my age. 

Maybe my partner is right, maybe it’s that simple…

Maybe belong, like love, is a verb. I can feel belonged by belonging: let go of self-consciousness, show up, stay present, be myself, participate and offer what I have. 

Simple, but not easy. 

Nowadays, I often come across coaching clients who say they feel too young and inexperienced to pursue their callings.

Most of the time, they are brilliant people who don’t quite see what they have.  

But I understand how they feel. 

I’m familiar with that voice in our head that says:

“Who do you think you are?”

“Who’s going to get coaching from a 20-something?”

“You think someone will pay you to do that? You’re crazy!” 

This voice can be so loud and incessant that we don’t question it. We may give up on our dreams, or use delay tactics to cope with our insecurity: “I’ll just wait for a few years until I get more experiences…” 

If this is you, I want you to know that you’re always enough to take the first step towards your dream. 

Real confidence comes from taking actions, not just from changing how you think - and definitely not from waiting.

In the past 5 years, I’ve coached clients all over the world who are often older than me. No one has ever questioned my age. After a while, I figured that people who judge me for my age are not the right clients for me anyway. 

I still remember one afternoon when I opened my inbox and saw an email titled “Small Update”.

It was a long, hand-written letter. She told me about the things she achieved and how much she’d grown since our coaching. At the end of the letter, she wished me to continue using my gifts to uplift others. 

The client was several years older than me.

Letters like that help me see an important truth: ultimately, it’s not about me.

It’s about the gifts I have to offer in this world. It’s about the people who need my gift. It’s about the lives I’m meant to touch.

So if you feel called to step in the light to serve others, trust that calling.

Mary Oliver wrote in one of her poems:

“Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world.”

That’s the great paradox, when you forget yourself, you are given back YourSelf. 

When you go beyond the layers of fear, insecurity, and doubts, you come back to your center where your true self, your true gifts reside. 

What is the one tiny step you can take to go for your dream? 

The world needs that. So stop hiding. Step in the light. And shine. 

With all my love,

PS: dreaming with purpose

A dream becomes powerful when it’s grounded in your true purpose.

I’ve designed this beautiful Purpose-Finder Workbook for you to gain clarity on your purpose.

Download below!

SHARING = LOVING