9 Things I Learned after 9 Years in Long-Distance Love
If you're reading this, you're in a Long-Distance Relationship.
I'm writing this blog post for you so you get the needed motivation and knowledge to create a healthy happy LDR!
LDR is hard. There is no sugarcoating. But to start a company, to follow your dream, or to eat more vegetables, are also hard.
I know that everyone around you may be saying "LDR doesn't work!" But don't let the naysayers bring you down.
Remember these powerful words from JFK: “We choose to go to the moon not because it is easy, but because it is hard.” The LDR road can be bumpy, but it is definitely rewarding.
LDR is possible. More than that, LDR can lay the solid foundation for long lasting love.
Rapha is my biggest fan and supporter. Our marriage is the driving force behind our career successes.
At the end of my TEDx talk, I said thank to Rapha with tears in my eyes. He was right there in the audience, smiling.
And I have to tell you:
My marriage is strong, not despite our 4-year LDR, but because of it.
So hold onto your hope. And keep on reading this email.
Before marrying my Brazilian great love Rapha, I had 2 LDR. Together they took 5 years. And both ended in tears. With Rapha, we overcome 4 long years loving across countries and continents.
Finally we got to Happy Ending in 2016. Our wedding was a fairy tale.
I’ve learned too much in those 9 years in 3 different long-distance relationships.
So here’s the list of 9 things I learned (you won’t find them anywhere on Google!)
1) Happy LDR couples spend time learning, solving problems, and find ways to enjoy the distance. Unhappy LDR couples do the opposite. They complain, blame, worry about their problems. But they don’t do anything about it.
2) Happy LDR couples invest time and effort in their relationship. Unhappy LDR couples get stuck in the emotional roller coaster or straight-out boredom. They don’t know how to improve their situation. But they also don’t get help!
3) Happy LDR couples know they’re playing the long game. Unhappy LDR couples do the opposite. They want to get it quick. Thus they get anxious and sabotage their relationship.
4) Happy LDR couples give 100% in their relationship. Unhappy LDR couples don’t give themselves fully because they’re afraid they would fail, unclear about the future, and doubtful about themselves.
5) You may have the perfect partner and the perfect chance for long-lasting love, but if you’re doing the wrong things, none of this matters.
6) If you’re struggling in the long-distance relationship, chances are: you would struggle in a normal relationship as well. So the problem is not the distance. The problem is that you don’t have the mindset and skillset to create healthy happy love.
7) Doing well in a geographically closed relationship (GCR) doesn’t guarantee your success in LDR. Compared to GCR, the distance in LDR creates very different physiological experiences for the 2 lovers. Thus, loving long-distance requires a different approach and strategies.
8) Have you ever wondered why it’s so rare to find a woman who reaches her full potentials in love? Look back at your life. Has anyone ever taught you “How to build a healthy happy relationship with a love partner”? Probably not. That’s why 99% of us - modern women - do not have the knowledge, mindset, and guidance we need to thrive in a relationship.
9) Whether you can write the Happy-Ending for your LDR love story, or not… All depends on you TAKE ACTION to give yourself the Love-Education you deserve. Right here. Right now.
So there you have it. The 9 Insights that takes me 9 years to learn.
Now, I'd love to hear from you: How can you turn these 9 Insights into a healthy happy LDR and Long-lasting love?
With my crazy brave heart,
P.S. Have a burning question for me? C’on over here and tell me all about it! I may answer your question LIVE in my next Facebook Q&A Show!
P.P.S. Can I give you a Free Gift? I'm doing a Free Webinar "From Long-Distance to Long-Lasting." Sign up here to start creating the love you deserve.